Sunday Specials: Pocket Money for Wives

Some time last week, I read a post on social media and I thought it made a lot of sense, so I decided to share. Enjoy!

I have often wondered why is it that most men forget to give gifts to their wives? Why is it that we overlook the need to give our wives pocket money? Say, "Baby, take this and buy yourself something" or "this is your pocket money for this month." This pocket money is not the same thing as soup money or money to buy things at home. I mean money strictly for her and her alone. Understand?

Now, I am not saying all our wives are in need. I am not relegating women to the background, what Yoruba people call Alabodo (feed them for sex). I know that in this age and time, most women work and some of them earn well enough to take care of their basic needs and their children; if not even earn better than their husbands and in good position to shoulder the loads of the family. But God forbid that men will wait on their wives!

But my take here is: is anything wrong in saying, "Baby, take this as your pocket money for this month"? I guess there is nothing wrong in that even if she earns better than you the husband. I guess its an act that God will be glad we men still play, not minding how much you give or if your wife needs it or not.

Now ask the woman next to you: if your husband gives you pocket money monthly, not minding if it's N5k or N10k, or N100k, will you take it or not? Will you appreciate it or not?

You know women naaaaw, na bring bring bring, be their philosophy. They will take it. I guess if we men cultivate that act, it will go a long way to make our wives believe their husbands love them. And watch what such women will do in response.

Let me tell you a story. One day, a client paid me a big sum and I just felt like tripping baby. I put her in the Toyota Camry car I was using then and off I drove to Shoprite on VI. I did not even tell her we were going to Shoprite. When we got there, she exploded 

"Do you have money? What are we doing here?" 

I said, "Just follow me and pick anything you want." 

Right inside Shoprite, I picked cart and wheeled it behind her. "Pick anything you want baby."

See women o! Na so she dey pick, pick, pick. The cart was full. Then she picked her own cart too, and in minutes, her cart was full too. I picked the bill, almost N86,000. As we were going out of the mall, something struck her ...

"Fellow." (she calls me Fellow B, after the order of Supremost Comradium of the World headquarter. Daysis Oblanjahorr) 

"You did not buy yourself anything!" she wondered

"Ah, I have no cash left. Let us go home ..."

"No, I have some money. Let's go back and pick what you want."

So we went back. My wife picked a bill of N42k for me alone. 

Now, you know I never knew my wife had money on her? But she brought it out and spent on me because I had impressed her. My man, impress your wife, she will spin surprises on you.

Now look at this again: when I scrutinised all we bought with my N86k, hardly was there anything strictly for her. Almost everything we bought were things we used at home and for the children. But when it was her turn to buy for me, I bought things for MYSELF! Shaving cream, boxers, stockings, slippers, DVDs, condoms, singlets, my kind of wine, (understand?) etc. Things me alone use!

It taught me a great lesson: most women are good. Most women are not greedy. All they want is show them you love them, you will catch them mugu for life!

Men, give your wives pocket money today. Cultivate the habit. Don’t say sebi she is working. 

And women, don’t say how much are you giving me gan sef. Kneel down and say thank you. LOL.

Olamide ~ The Heiress

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The Wedding Budget: How To Cut Cost On Wedding Vendors

You’ve probably discovered that adding the word “wedding” or “bridal” to a product or service instantly jacks the price up, and it’s super easy to go over budget.

When this happens, you have a choice: You can raise your limit, you can eliminate something you originally wanted, or you can bring in an alternative solution. Here are alternatives to keep the price of the wedding or reception under control:

DECORATION

Flowers are expensive. Cut back on flowers. You can limit floral arrangements on the tables and the bouquets for the bride and bridesmaids. If you feel that you must decorate the church, keep all the focus at the front.

CENTREPIECES- To rent a piece starts from N1500; you can do without them and have a cup arrangement or opt for floating candles instead. 

THE BRIDAL PARTY

Limit the number of people in your bridal party to the amount you have to spend on gifts.

THE WEDDING DRESS

Bridal gowns are expensive. You don’t have to opt for the most exclusive designer dress on the rack. This is something that will hopefully only be worn once, so consider choosing something with less embellishment, or if you have exquisite sewing skills, consider purchasing a plain gown and doing it yourself. Another option is to go to a rental store and pick up a dress for a fraction of the original cost.

CATERING

Photo: Adun Spices

Instead of a hiring a Professional caterer, you can get cooks (called 'olopo' in Yoruba) to cook the food. For a guest list of 1000, and depending on what your menu list is, you will need about 5 cooks and the price range starts from N2000 per day per cook. Then rent all the necessary items like the eating plates, chaffing dishes, cutlery, servers for the food etc to set up at the wedding reception.

ENTERTAINMENT

Photo: DJ Skills

A live band can be quite expensive and you will also have to feed your vendors, so the number also applies. Consider hiring a DJ. If you can’t afford a professional DJ, another option is to record your favorite songs and use the sound system at the reception venue. (That is if your venue will allow for you to use their sound systems)

VENUE

Book your reception venue far enough in advance to make sure you get the places and dates you want. You will also get a very good discount if you book for your venue early.

Another option is to have your reception in the fellowship hall or multipurpose room of your church or other wedding venue.

Pay all deposits and complete bills by the due dates so you don’t lose the venues.

OUTDOOR WEDDINGS

Outdoor weddings can be more expensive, you will have to put into consideration restrooms for your guests, vendors tend to charge more because of their generating machines for electricity. And you will probably have to rent all the chairs and tables which comes at no extra cost at other venues.

WEDDING GUESTS

I always advise my brides to adopt a strictly by invitation approach, especially those on a budget. This way, you can eliminate unwanted guests. You can also hire one or 2 security men (aka bouncers); they know how to handle unwanted guests at events.

But in a situation where more people show up than expected, try to make room for the extra people. Most reception venues are capable of handling an extra 50 people, which is why I advise my brides to go for a hall that can accommodate slightly more  than the number of guests they are expecting. It is also advisable to prepare for more food, for atleast 50 people.This is a celebration, you really don't want to create more drama than necessary.

CHILDREN

Some brides and grooms opt to not invite children to their weddings. However, others want them there to celebrate their happy day. If you have children present, keep in mind that they are less predictable with their behavior so be prepared for anything. Most small children will get bored at a wedding reception anyway.

If children are not invited, let the parents know that the little ones can become unruly. This would let them know your expectations without coming across too harsh.

You will be just as married afterward as you would be if you had an elaborate reception.

Olamide ~ The Heiress

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Wedding Tip Of The Week

Start a scrapbook

Yes, it may sound a bit schooly, but it's a great way to create a visuaI idea of your wedding. Don't worry if nothing matches to begin with, eventually a pattern will emerge and you will be grateful.

Olamide~ The Heiress

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Wedding Tip Of The Week

Who's paying?

She who pays the piper calls the tune. You can't insist on a buffet if you aren't the one paying for it.

Olamide~ The Heiress

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Wedding Tip Of The Week

Picture List

Take time to think of the pictures you want. The spontaneous pictures will take care of themselves but make a list of the pictures you want and speak with your photographer about capturing those moments. You will be too busy and too happy on the day to remember to get a picture with your great aunt. 

Olamide~ The Heiress

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Choosing Your Wedding Venue (questions to ask)

When brides and grooms start looking for wedding venues, too often they fall in love with the beauty of the place and sign a contract before they've considered the more practical things. But unless the place is so magical that you're willing to plan your whole event around it, your shouldn't choose between wedding venues until you've decided approximately how many guests you're inviting and the size of your budget.

You'll also need to decide if you want to have your ceremony and reception in the same place, or if you want an all-in-one wedding venue.Once you know these things, and you have a few wedding venues in mind that fit that budget and size, then it's time to start asking questions!

*What's the decor like?

*Does it fit your style and wedding colors?

*Will you have to spend a lot of money on decorations to make it beautiful?

*Do they have an in-house caterer, and do you like that food? (While an in-house caterer can be easier and cheaper, sometimes the food is not as beautiful as the room. So make sure you taste it!)

*Do they have a limitation on which outside caterers you can use?

*Do they have adequate bathroom facilities?

*Is the wedding venue wheelchair accessible? If not, are there many stairs to climb? You have to put into consideration the elderly guests you would be inviting.

*How close is the parking to the ceremony and reception rooms?

*What's the cancellation policy?

*Is there a payment schedule?

*What kind of deposits are required?

*Are there any hidden costs? (Before you sign the contract, read it carefully.)

*What are the overtime charges?

*Do they have a liquor license?

*Will they allow you to bring your own liquor? (This is usually cheaper, even with the customary corkage fee.)

*Is there room in the wedding venue for a band and/or dancing?

*Does the wedding venue already own a sound system with adequate speakers or will that need to be rented?

*Is there a space for the bride and groom to change and/or relax?

*Where will you take photographs? Is there a park nearby, or do the coordinators have recommended spots on the grounds?

*Who will be supervising and troubleshooting before and on the day of your wedding? Can you meet them now?

*Where can your guests park their vehicles? If there is no adequate space, is there an alternative parking area for them?

*Please also remember to ask if they will power the hall, especially for all the vendors that would be needing electricity for their equipments. Some halls only power the hall for the decoration and AC's, which would mean the band and DJ would have to bring theor generating sets and that could make them charge higher.

*Are there extra fees for parking?

*Is the wedding venue convenient to public transportation, especially in big cities? How long will it take your guests to get there?

*Especially in hotels or VIP lounges, restaurants, are there limitations on decorations?

*Do they limit food and drinks to only certain areas of the wedding venue?

*Are candles or other open flames allowed?

* Do they allow overnight decoration? Some hall venues are very big and would need to be set up days before the event.

* How much is their caution fee for the vendors, like the decorator, drinks! E.t.c?

*If its an outdoor location, do they have any backup plans for rain or other inclement weather? If not, is there a place that you can put up a tent? 

WHEN LOOKING AT SEPARATE WEDDING RECEPTION VENUES AND CEREMONY LOCATIONS

*How far is it from one location to the other?

*Do the two places have the same level of formality and a coordinating style?

*Do they both accommodate about the same number of guests?

*Does the wedding reception venue have any experience with weddings from your ceremony location? 

WHEN LOOKING FOR WEDDING VENUES FOR BOTH CEREMONY AND RECEPTION

*Do they own enough chairs for the ceremony, or will they need to be rented?

*Does the wedding venue have an entirely separate area for the ceremony? 

Hopefully, these questions will help you cover the basics while you're looking at wedding venues. In your search for a wedding venue, there will probably be even more questions that arise for you personally. For example, you may want the venue to reflect your heritage, or with a large wedding party, you may need ample parking for limosines.

Hope this will help in your venue searching! Good luck!

Olamide~ The Heiress

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Weddings Don't Have To Be Expensive To Be Memorable

I got featured in the Daily Trust Newspaper on the 8th of May, 2015. When i got a call from them, i wasn't expecting it. It suddenly dawned on me that people are beginning to notice my hardwork and more importantly, the message i am trying to pass accross to brides. (A wedding doesn't have to be expensive to be memorable) 

I once again started to think of how the wedding industry had suddenly become a money making venture. Not like its a bad thing for the vendors but for the negative mental effect it is having on our brides to be. 

Brides now tend to believe that if they don't have a certain amount of money or if they can't get a particular Makeup Artsit or band, their wedding can't be memorable. For me, that is a BIG misconception. You are a bride, whether your wedding is expensive or not, you will still be the centre of attraction on your wedding day. All eyes will still be on you, you will still feel special on that day if you are in a vera wang dress or isale eko wedding dress. It is still going to be your day no matter what goes into it.

I read a post on instagram recently, where brides were narrating their wedding day disasters, it was sad to know that most of these expensive vendors are the ones who messed up their big day. From the makeup, to the photographer, to the decorator, to the cake... When some of these brides actually mentioned the amount they paid for these services, my jaw literally dropped, only for them to mess up their big day.

It's a one day event, I'm not saying don't make it expensive, just be reasonable about it. The fact that some of these vendors are expensive doesn't mean that they still can't mess up your big day and the fact that some of the upcoming vendors are cheap doesn't mean that they can't deliver quality. Remember that the professionals were once like the upcoming vendors, just get a reliable upcoming vendor in whatever field, see some of their works. You will be saving yourself a lot of money and you will still have a great day. 

One of my brides recently had an engagement shoot and needed a makeup artist. She reached out to all the known Makeup Artists and none were willing to work with her budget. More so, they were only going to do one look for her and leave. She eventually decided to allow me bring her one. After reaching out to a couple of upcoming vendors that i trusted, i made a choice. The Upcoming Makeup Artist waited from 3pm to 1am and did 3 different looks. I had to personally drop her at home after midnight. Not only was my bride happy with her looks, my bride also booked her for another appointment and was wishing she hadn't already booked and paid heavily for a known MUA. 

For budget brides out there, don't stress about hiring that famous Band or MakeupArtist or Cake Maker, they have worked hard to earn the price they are charging now. Let's help you get a good upcoming vendor, who will deliver and at a reasonable price too! And like I mentioned earlier, you will still be a princess on your Big Day, expensive or not. 

Olamide~ The Heiress

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11 Ways To Know You Need A Wedding Planner

Many couples never even consider hiring a wedding planner, not realizing that having outside help can save you time, aggravation, and even money. Here's an easy checklist to find out if you need a wedding planner:

1. You're way behind on your checklist and schedule. 

2. You both work full-time jobs that will prevent you from meeting with vendors on weekdays.

3. You don't have other outside help such as an involved mother-of-the-bride, helpful bridesmaids, or knowledgeable friends.

4. You don't know many people who can give you reliable vendor recommendations.

5. You are having a destination wedding.

6. There are personality conflicts between the couple, their parents, and/or other people.

7. You're excited to be married, but just thinking about wedding planning fills you with dread.

8. You're having a very short engagement.

9. You can envision your wedding but you have no idea how to make your dreams come true.

10. You can't even envision your wedding.

11. You're feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and generally wishing that you had decided to elope. 

Like I have always advised, if you can't hire a wedding planner, hire LA' HEIRESS professional Event Coordinators and if you still can't afford that, we are willing to give you a list of vendors that can work with your budget after your consultation session with us.

Contact for details: 08103193930

Olamide~ The Heiress

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Wedding Tip of the Week

FEED YOUR STAFFS TOO

Don't forget to feed your vendors too. A hungry DJ may not perform upto expectation if he or she is hungry. Remember, a hungry man is an angry man.

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Sunday Specials: I Was Waiting To Pick Up A Friend At The Airport

I was waiting to pick up a friend at the airport. That day I had one of those experiences that change people‘s lives.

It happened just two feet away from me. I noticed a man, carrying two bags, coming toward me. He stopped next to me to greet his family.

First of all he laid down his bag and came closer to his younger son (about six years old), they gave each other a warm, loving hug. Then the father looked in his son‘s eyes with words: „I missed you so much, it‘s so good to see you, son!“. The boy smiled and said: „Me too, dad“. Then the man talked to his older son (nine or ten years old). „Oh, you are quite the young man, I love you very much!“ and cupped his face. Then they had the most tender hug too. Afterwards the father said „Hi, baby girl“ to his baby daughter. She was squirming excitedly in her mother‘s arm and watching her returning father all the time. The man gently took his little daughter, quickly kissed her face all over and then held her close to his chest. The little girl laid her head on his shoulder in pure contentment.

After several moments the man looked at his wife and said „I‘ve saved the best for last“ and shared with her the most passionate kiss. They stared at each other, beaming big smiles. They reminded me of newlyweds.

Suddenly, I heard myself asking „Wow, how long have you been married?“. „Been together fourteen years, and married twelve of those“ . „Well then, have long have you been away?“. He replied with joyous smile on his face: „Two whole days!“.I was stunned, as I imagined that he had been gone for several weeks at least. I could only say: „I hope that my marriage is still that passionate after twelve years“. The man looked straight into my eyes and told me something that changed my life:„

Don‘t hope, friend, decide!“… 

Olamide~ The Heiress

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